Occasionally I find myself saying something as a parent that I can’t even fathom. Something that makes my brain go “how on earth did you get to a place in life where that sentence is appropriate?” And I always think I should write them down, but those moments also usually require immediate action, like grabbing a child off the arm of the couch, changing the channel because Care Bears are terrifying, or shockingly often, poo. So by the time I’m done putting the juice into the cup that matches the underwear the kid’s wearing or putting the salad tongs back in the drawer because they shouldn’t be used to stop the fan, I’ve forgotten the bizarre thing I said and should have shared with others so you could all know the joy. Kind of like the bit by Louis Black about the time he heard the dumbest thing ever, and if he doesn’t share it with others his brain will EXPLODE. (Check that here if you haven’t. It’s way funnier than I make it sound, really.)
If it weren’t for my horse…
Anyway, I thought it might be fun to make that list here, and let you play along. What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever said as a parent? Or heard your parents say? Here’s some of mine and the ones my friends contributed as well:
- Are you ready for lunch- woah. Please put your underwear back on.
- I know it makes a good echo but your face doesn’t go in the toilet.
- We don’t use the toilet brush on the dog.
- That’s it! I’m packing your room up if you won’t. Where’s the snow shovel?
- Most people don’t take their pants off while going for a car ride.
- I’m trying to make dinner, would you stop putting motorcycles in my butt?
- I don’t think the cat really enjoys superheroes in his ears.
- Please don’t lick the window. (She says this every. day.)
- You really don’t want too many spaceships in your mouth.
- Pacifiers don’t go in your eye.
- Making cake is a pants-on activity.
- We say “lick off” the spoon, not “suck it off.” Why? … um……….. …….. …..just because.
Add yours in the comments so we can all marvel at the awkward together!